I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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