You can't special order awesome
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
