): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
