dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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