i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
