just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
