TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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