Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
