so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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