those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
