You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
