Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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