ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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