Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
