She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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