If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
