Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
