I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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