the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Fuck appropriateness.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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