4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is it penis luge time yet?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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