There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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