So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
