"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
