I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
