Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
