I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.