Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick. http://tfl.nu/20nm
  Replies (21) Good night (557) Bad night (2984)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out. http://tfl.nu/k9ox
  Replies (18) Good night (5266) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y
  Replies (13) Good night (797) Bad night (5846)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes http://tfl.nu/q5w9
  Replies (25) Good night (5601) Bad night (1749)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back. http://tfl.nu/wlso
  Replies (7) Good night (6341) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me http://tfl.nu/r4c5
  Replies (39) Good night (7869) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight. http://tfl.nu/g16n
  Replies (10) Good night (3584) Bad night (1712)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover. http://tfl.nu/pf8w
  Replies (5) Good night (3353) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex http://tfl.nu/xtt5
  Replies (20) Good night (3553) Bad night (1389)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry. http://tfl.nu/6f2v
  Replies (3) Good night (2879) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her http://tfl.nu/6f57
  Replies (4) Good night (2484) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy" http://tfl.nu/b3zm
  Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?! http://tfl.nu/4u7v
  Replies (9) Good night (677) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants. http://tfl.nu/pajk
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone. http://tfl.nu/3fa4
  Replies (0) Good night (17) Bad night (35)

Randomize