Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date? http://tfl.nu/833l
  Replies (60) Good night (515) Bad night (4392)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She does have a great personality.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  Yeah, in her vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): She does have a great personality. (1-864): Yeah, in her vagina. http://tfl.nu/us41
  Replies (9) Good night (4359) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw. http://tfl.nu/cazb
  Replies (19) Good night (3929) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today. http://tfl.nu/4lg3
  Replies (52) Good night (10268) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever. http://tfl.nu/ptta
  Replies (17) Good night (4173) Bad night (3803)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS. http://tfl.nu/pvmv
  Replies (7) Good night (2155) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere http://tfl.nu/hg2l
  Replies (12) Good night (1177) Bad night (2851)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko. http://tfl.nu/s10e
  Replies (4) Good night (2846) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer. http://tfl.nu/4bxr
  Replies (14) Good night (2207) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (483): View more from

  Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (483): Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she? http://tfl.nu/qpva
  Replies (7) Good night (919) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (497) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am not getting you a goat.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I am not getting you a goat. (479): Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable. http://tfl.nu/eqxl
  Replies (5) Good night (944) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned http://tfl.nu/2xe6
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked... http://tfl.nu/22n2
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops. http://tfl.nu/nz3t
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (249)

Randomize