Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.