office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
