I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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