My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize