He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
