THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
