im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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