Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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