Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
