Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
