The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize