I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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