If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
