Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
