I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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