alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
