This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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