You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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