a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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