i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
