The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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