The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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