another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize