Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
