that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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