we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
