you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
