do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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