Whod you bang
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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