I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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