I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
