things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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