Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
