oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
