Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Two words: nipple clamps
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