I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
