i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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