Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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